Vulnerability & Dark Places

 

I want to be honest with you about something. Every now and then I have pretty shitty days mentally. I have gorgeous babies, I have a loving husband, I have my health, friends and I am excited about in the future. Despite all that I am grateful for, I still have demons to overcome. Days where shitty thoughts are inescapable and that battle to be a positive person just doesn’t win. It sucks and I do everything in my power to be proactive about it, to get out of that dark space, but sometimes I just can’t. I’ve wanted to share this and in previous years I have been much more transparent about it on here but since my following has grown I guess I have retracted, for fear of judgement and shaming. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I realised having growth in my following and more exposure to the world, is even more of a reason to be vulnerable and to use my platform to connect with those who are also struggling with mental health. I have spoken a lot about ‘over coming hardships’ but I realised today its important to be vulnerable about being in that dark space in present, not just about the overcoming of it.

I am both very fortunate and unfortunate in that these difficult feelings are so familiar, not all the time but when they rear their ugly heads, I have the tools and skill set to get out of this head space. I have 20 odd years of recognising triggers, a husband who’s helped me out of deeper holes, and friends that ask “are you okay?” not just on “R U OK Day” but every other day.

So I would like to be more transparent about these feelings and emotions on here and hopefully it will help you feel more okay about your shitty days. Because the worst thing to feel on shitty days is that you are alone, when the truth is we are never alone ❤️ On that note, reach out! Be that friend, be the person you needed when you were younger, be the person that shows up, that calls even when you have so much on your plate just to ask “How was your day?” You may never know how much impact that can have or how much fear and pain you can relieve of someone just by letting them know “I care and I’m here.”

So right now, I am in a place where thoughts aren’t all that positive, I am anxious and have terrible, irrational thoughts and fears. I am scared and embarrassed to admit this, for a multitude of reasons but mostly because I don’t want to seem ungrateful for my loved ones and life. Because I love them and it. But more importantly than my ego and fear of being judged, I would hate to think people are comparing themselves to an unrealistic me. That is not my message to the world and does not do justice of everything I’ve been through. So here is to vulnerability and having shitty days.

My Positive Affirmation today: I am resilient and I am loved. {Psst… so are you x}

Side Note: I hope that by getting my Personal Assistant on board, I have some more time to dedicate to not only writing about these revelations but also having the time to process and deal with them. Since becoming a mama and business owner, it can feel like you don't have a moment to realise what you are going through until you are completely overwhelmed and not even sure why. I have been working too much and not looking after myself, so when I say Im excited to have her on board, let's just say its an understatement.

Anyway, I hope sharing the above with you, has helped, in anyway.

Love,

Revie x