Bullied Online

Bullied Online
July 9, 2017 reviejane

I desperately wish this was a post about how I have already kicked that novel troll ‘comment’ to the curb and it’s all in the past. How I haven’t thought about those hurtful words again and how I feel stronger than ever. Unfortunately, this post isn’t about that and I don’t feel strong, I feel depressed. I can’t explain why or how that one comment sent me over the edge. I’ve been wondering that myself. It was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. I guess it wasn’t that one comment, it was an accumulation of having lots of comments lately that I am able to brush off but still leave a little sting. An accumulation of back to back weeks of working unrealistically long days and pushing through on 4 hour sleeps because my baby girl has had a rough trot of cutting teeth and tummy bugs. All the while trying to be a good mama, wife and coach.

Since reading that comment many red flags have been raised. I know the signs of the black dog all too well. Passing comments or innocent gestures from my husband taken as personal attacks, not wanting to see friends because ‘they probably wouldn’t want to hang with me anyway,’ getting ready for an outing and hating what you see in the mirror and a hundred other little shades of hatred and “I’m not good enoughs” that I have thrown at myself internally since I came crashing down on Friday. It’s horrible and for me, all so familiar. All of this, for some reason, is a lot easier for me to type about than to talk about.

Despite what a lot of people may think about me from first face value and scrolling through my Instagram feed, is that I have had to battle depression and anxiety throughout the majority of my life.

After an unconventional childhood, to say the least, I really struggled to feel worthy, to feel accepted and wondered through my whole teenage life how anyone could possibly love me. I worked through it, I battled with those voices, I spoke to professionals, I’ve faced my demons head on. Thankfully, with the love and support I have from my family and my own strength and drive to make the most of my life, the majority is lived happy and content as you see through my social media platforms. Highlighting my favourite moments of the day, sharing my daily therapy of working out, positive affirmations and trying to brighten up others lives through intimate and humorous moments.

It’s been a long, long road and I really still have to travel along that bumpy road from time to time. It’s like I have steered my life (with pure grit and determination) onto a freshly laid, smooth bit of bitumen, it’s lovely, there are some speed humps but it’s a beautiful road to ride along. But as life does, it provides you with many forks in the road and sometimes it takes you back down that bumpy road. Even though you desperately want that smooth bit of road again, you just can’t seem to find that bridge or exit, even though you know that smooth road is right there.

Before you know it you’re in a tunnel and you feel completely alone with no direction and no light. To that I have to say, that you’re never alone. You always have yourself (who is a very important person.) Secondly, there is always help out there, people wanting to listen and support you.

With every hardship I’ve ever been through, I know there is one thing that helps me overcome it.  I feel a sense of cause when I can use my hard time as a way to help others through theirs. I know I have bravery when it comes to this sort of stuff. Maybe because I’ve been the person that needs that bit of hope or that inspiration to be assured that things are going to be okay.

It helps me believe that it was not all for nothing and it’s a way to create a positive out of a negative experience. It may not be the same experience but at the end of the day, nurturing words and advice can be applied to many wounds and situations.

When I broke down on Snapchat, hundreds of you wrote to me, family, friends and my online sisterhood. So many of you helped me, your words picked me up when I was down, stopped the tears and replaced them with laughter, smiles, feelings of warmth and compassion. Not everybody that gets bullied online has the community that I have. So I wanted to go through and quote some of the words of advice that helped me gain perspective and work through it.

Hopefully some of these words of advice can help others that may be on the receiving end of bullying via social media or bullying of any sort.

  • @Tiarnah_verham: Remember that when people say mean things it says more about them than it does about you.
  • @mrslwx Dont let the assholes of the world ruin your goals!
  • @vmh_personalised aka Ness member at my gym- Some people don’t like to see others succeed or talk bad about others so others won’t view them in such a positive light. Usually they are unhappy in their own lives and rather than work on improving their own they throw insults at others to make themselves feel better. Keep doing you!
  • @csanmartinn: People are hurtful and mean and it takes so long to try to understand it but hopefully one day you’ll realize that you can’t understand it and that cruelty is unfortunately a given in this life. Not matter what you can’t escape it. Trolls have their own issues and demons to face.
  • @Tihanna “Social media absolutely sucks sometimes. You are brave for putting yourself out there, there will always be someone who wants to bring you down. It’s such a shame. I can’t believe people can be so hurtful. Unfortunately it’s never going to change. You just keep being you take time to wash away that yucky side of social media… You are amazing.” –

I also thought this is a good opportunity to give advice to anyone who has ever thought of writing something mean on social media:

  1. First thing you need to do once you stop reading this post is get off your phone/ laptop or computer and go hug yourself. You deserve to be loved.
  2. Highly recommend unfollowing anyone you do not like.
  3. Remember that behind every account is another human being, each human has their own battles to fight and you have no idea how big or small that battle is. Be kind. And if you can’t manage that, don’t waste your time commenting just close that app/ window and find ANYTHING else to do with your time. Watch TV, have a sip of water, go learn Karate- seriously ANYTHING else would be great and can avoid deeply affecting someone else in a negative way.

The universe works in such mysterious ways, like the fact that my next YouTube video that was uploaded by my production crew on Friday is: HOW TO PRACTICE SELF LOVE. Go figure! I watched it back myself knowing that I was the one needing to take down notes this week.  

So I made this week’s video Live a little earlier because #SelfLove. I need it. Online bullies need it and you just never know else may need one or two of the tips in the video.

I want to assure you that I will be okay, I am a master of getting through things like this and comparatively this is a smaller speed hump than most I’ve come across. I shared this post and its personal details because similarly to everything I share, I hope I can help others realise they are not alone. Depression and anxiety are a real shit of a thing, but it’s okay to have it and I am living proof that you can get through it and live a life full of positivity, love and solo dance parties.

I also just wanted to say thank you and I love you. Thanks for picking a girl up when she needed it. I hope we can continue being there for each other and making each other happy.

If you or anyone you know need to speak to someone there is always help.

Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit: https://www.lifeline.org.au/

Revie Jane Schulz Blogger, Fitness Expert & Social Influencer

33 Comments

  1. Denby 2 months ago

    💕💕💕💕💕💕

  2. Bek 2 months ago

    Your raw honesty and genuine selflessness is what makes you beautiful Revie Jane. Keep doing you!

  3. Bianca 2 months ago

    Positivity will bring you out of that tunnel so will bravery, and you always show both. You are an amazing woman with a beautiful ability to touch so many people in such a way that they are able to push through their personal battles. I applaud you for every bit of strength you show in every part of your life.. family gym work work work work mummy life. You are my roll model and will be my daughters x

    • Author
      a a 2 months ago

      Such a beautiful thing to read, thank you Bianca xo

  4. Clancy 2 months ago

    Oh Rev, this made me cry. I’m sorry people are shit, but YOU are amazing, you just keep putting out all the love. Big hugs to you sweet lady, you have so got this 💕💕💕

  5. Emma 2 months ago

    Thanks so much Rev! Those tips are so helpful and I’ve noticed not many of us (women in particular) aren’t great at #4, to the point where I’ve noticed people don’t know how to react when I say “thank you”, it’s like they’re relieved they don’t have to fight for you to accept the compliment! My heart broke when I watched your snap and it seemed as though you felt like you needed to justify yourself to that bully, and I don’t think there’s anything I can say to stop you from feeling hurt by a comment like that again but like you said, they only see a small part of your life and if they don’t like it, that’s their problem, they can hit the unfollow button and move on with their lives but for some reason they don’t, which is sad for them. I think you’re amazing, I think I’m amazing, and I think we should all think about ourselves as nothing short of amazing and never feel the need to out anyone else down, ever.

    • Author
      a a 2 months ago

      Totally agree wit you Emma, I think everyone should think they’re amazing! Wish they did, then we wouldnt have such horrible people on the internet. Thanks for letting me know and glad you are already saying Thank You x

  6. Alana 2 months ago

    Revie, people who bring other people down are simply unhappy in their own world & therefore exude hatred to others to make themselves feel better! I was bullied thru high school & even now some 15 years later I have feelings of unworthiness & anxiety about the intentions of those around me. You shine positivity & do your damndest to lift up those around you – whether you know them personally or are simply part of your “socials fam”. No one expects you to be perfect all the time, except you – when we suffer anxiety or depression we put unfair expectations on ourselves. Your snaps bring a smile to me daily & it was devastating to see you so upset on Friday.
    All I can say is – dont change, you are amazing just the way you are & Im being honest when I say your snaps have brought me out of my own funk on so many different occasions!!
    Dont let the haters bring you down they honestly arent worth it 🙂

    • Author
      a a 2 months ago

      Thanks Alana, such a nice thing to read. <3

  7. Jem 2 months ago

    You are a beautiful soul Revie, how anyone could say a nasty thing about you is beyond me. You legit have the cutest face ever I don’t know how anyone could be mean to it. Keep doing what you’re doing soul sista you are ahhhhhhmaaaaazing! 😍

    • Author
      a a 2 months ago

      Hahaha thank you for saying I have a cute face, its so weird but I get this all the time. #babycheeks! Hahaha! People can be mean to puppies so there are just shit people out there!

  8. Jacki 2 months ago

    You Revie Jane are such an inspiration, have such a beautiful and strong soul. I hope the trolls realise how hurtful they are but know that they haven’t broken you, that this will make you stronger. Thank you Revie for being you, thank you for sharing your life and love of it with us all xo

    • Author
      a a 2 months ago

      I agree, this will make me and my community stronger thanks Jacki x

  9. Kristy 2 months ago

    Love you Reviness your the bomb you deserve the best in life because you are here to help and ask for nothing in return and that comes only from someone with a huge heart . Keep that strength burning in you, never lose that passion 😘

  10. Megan 2 months ago

    Revie! You are so inspiring and I feel like we’re friends even though we live worlds apart! I can only imagine negative comments taking a toll after awhile. There is more love than hate I hope coming to your page. I absolutely adore you and your family. You motivate me to get out there with my girls and get our workout ✅. Sending you virtual hugs and positive vibes your way.

    • Author
      a a 2 months ago

      Oh I definitely feel more love than hate coming onto my accounts, definitely! I am so lucky to have each of you, just some times a little bugger slips through the cracks and gets me super down. Thanks for the hugs and positive vibes Megan xo

  11. Kiara 2 months ago

    You truely are an inspiration and I admire you for constantly putting yourself out there. This post alone wouldn’t of been easy yet even after receiving the horrible comments on your video you have put this up to help others. You do help others and brighten so many peoples days. Lex has a wonderful role model in her life and is an absolute credit to you and Clay….she is beautiful. Keep being you and if that isn’t good enough for some than they are the ones with the issues.

  12. Paige mcinnes 2 months ago

    Thank you so much for telling us your story. It is so nice to hear someone openly discuss the topic of depression and anxiety, it is too often ‘swept under the carpet’. You have helped me to not feel alone, and I’m sure you will help so many others by sharing your story. You are an amazing person, and amazing mother to gorgeous lexi! It takes 7 positive statements to erase 1 negative 😫. Thanks for being you, and never stop being you!!! Xxxxxxx

  13. Tess 2 months ago

    Thank you for covering a wide range of topics not just workout routines. Everything in your video is a wonderful reminder to myself and I needed to hear it! ❤️ Thank you for being brave enough to share you life with social media so us watching can be inspired to love ourselves and our bodies more and better. Im praying today that you feel an abundance of love and support from everyone that surrounds you. 🙏🏻 God Bless you and your sweet family.

    • Author
      a a 2 months ago

      Oh thanks Tess, I am a natural born over sharer so of course when I have built a platform I started sharing all different avenues of my life. So glad I have inspired you in any way to love yourself more. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a beautiful message x

  14. Jess 2 months ago

    Your amazing Revie!!!! Such a true, honest, down to earth, inspirational, genuine and beautiful person! Im a part of your snap chat fam! You and lexi make me laugh everyday (i have a little man the same age so i can relate well) !!! Your love for your little fam is clearly unconditional! I dont understand how someone can bully you!!!! What you share is always raw and genuine!!!! Your amazing keep being you!!!! 😚😚

  15. Laura 2 months ago

    Heartbreaking how people can be so mean
    I hope your ok xx

  16. Kayla 2 months ago

    Thank you!! I needed to hear all this!! You truly are amazing thank you for helping so many women!!

  17. Amanda 2 months ago

    Went away for a week with no Internet, missed your snaps, my 4 year old misses Lexi. Come home to see you disappeared and find out you are dealing with this. Devo for you babe. I’ve no doubt from watching you all these years that you will come out on top. You gotta go to the bottom to start a climb, you know that already by the sounds of it. But I know you will because you have the ability to make me feel strong from across the world (Ireland) and anyone who can do that is special and is destined for great things. Our family misses Revie and Lexi so take your time, climb back into your awesomeness and come back and make the world great xxx

    • Author
      a a 2 months ago

      Tears reading this, thank you Amanda <3 so much gratitude and love for your message x

  18. I admire you so much Revie ❤️! Such a young, goodharted and wonderful soul ! So wise, so funny, so open … a good rolemodel for both young and older females. Just keep your dreams coming- I’m so sorry that the TROLLS gets you sometimes, but you will, ad you say, overcome them too.
    Wehave to wish them their best- even if it doesn’t always feels right. Other peoples negativity and problems is not ours ❤️!
    Keep inspire and keep smiling.
    I feel the sunshine all over herr in Norway… where we long for sun all year. Haha.
    Lots of love

  19. Tanneal 2 months ago

    Big hugs girlfriend, totally agree with Jem! You shouldnt ever have to explain yourself to anybody. You give so much of your time to friends & complete strangers in a hope to make positive change to their lives.. unfortunately there are those individuals that feel thats not enough and they want to take a little more.. grrrrr

  20. Annie Morton 2 months ago

    Once again you prove yourself to be a gem of a human being – you are truly one in a million.
    Very few would use a vulnerable moment as an opportunity to share and help people. Seeing you upset broke my heart – I cried with you even though I don’t know you and I’m thousands of miles away! But the fact that even in that moment you were able to emphathise and recognise that trolls are fighting their own battles and they too need and deserve love and understating (perhaps more than most) just shows what kind of person you are – amazing. Lexie is so lucky to be growing up with such an amazing role model and momma.
    Someone once told me the quote ‘Lions don’t lose sleep over the opinions of sheep’ – you are a lion, keep roaring your message of health and happiness from the top of your lungs – this world needs more people like you. X x x

    • Author
      reviejane 2 months ago

      Thank you so much Annie, your kind words are so appreciated xo

  21. Gina 2 months ago

    Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your life with us. You inspire and reach so many of us, from all corners of the world (Chicago). I am a stay at home mom of two young ones and while amazing, it can be isolating at times. Being a part of your snapfam has really helped me to just feel connected to something. And after 2 kids in 18 months and feeling nothing like my previous self, you were a driving force in getting me back in the gym. Making it ok to take time for myself (the mom guilt is real!). Again, just wanted to thank you. And I hope for every shit comment you get, there are 10 times as many like mine xx

    • Author
      reviejane 2 months ago

      This means so much to me and go you mama, 18 months a part would be so challenging. I hope you get back to the gym consistently and do something for YOU x

  22. Sarah Mare 2 months ago

    Another beautiful testament to your “why”. Even when you’re down, you still manage to pull through with the goods for your followers in the hopes of adding value to their lives & to remind us that we’re not alone in our struggles. I started suffering from anxiety late last year. To honour myself, my values & my energy so far this year has been challenging to say the least. Just like you, I’ve been through my fair share of hurdles so I know this isn’t going to annihilate me however, it doesn’t take away the intensity of my emotions I feel at the time or make day to day life or interactions with others a walk in the park. Thank you for sharing your story again.

    I feel that people who are already unclear on boundaries seem to go in on social media extra hard because they have certain (unattainable) expectations of how humans should behave. You are that woman’s mirror. Everything she said to you is highly likely something she is desperately needing or wanting in her life. Hurt people, hurt people. I’m not making any excuses for her at all, just saying that she probably needs so much love. She also needs to be responsible for her personal energy & the way she speaks to others – her comment was malicious for sure, the undertone was of someone that is hurting & it sucks that she hurt you in the process of it all. Sometimes when you watch someone on social media you think you’re closer than you really are to that person & it skews reality a bit. I’m sure your closest friends/family know about your life & you only need to share with your followers what you’re comfortable with. You NEVER have to justify why you don’t talk about your childhood if it brings up past hurt or if you’re trying to protect someone. You NEVER have to break your boundaries to connect with your audience. You NEVER have to risk your emotional stability to justify why you do or don’t do things. The way you communicate is authentic & beautiful & you don’t have to prove that your life is good or not so good in order to come across as “real”. Those expectations are just things that society does to make sure we can catergorise each other & gauge whether we can relate (if we’re the same that’s great) or not (I can’t relate to you therefore you’re strange, wrong, fake, *insert negative label here) because OMG if I can’t categorise you into a box, I can’t figure out if I’m better, the same or worse than you! And that’s all those types of interactions come down to. It is what it is & I hope those hurting people find so much love that it overflows & they start paying it forward. As for you beautiful Revie, thank you for your effort to make this world a little better. Take your time to hash through this & get amongst when you’re ready. I know we’ll all miss your lovely face & Lexi updates but in the meantime, you do you gal✌🏼✨

    P.S: Was so stoked to see you’re going back to the Cook Islands! I was born there & every time I go back it’s like my soul has been restored – I wish this for you & your family 🙏🏼💕

    • Author
      reviejane 2 months ago

      Wow, thank you so much for taking the time and effort to write such indepth advice for me. I truly appreciate it and took a lot away from your words. Thanks for caring for me, huge hugs girlfriend. PS Cook Islands produces the goods again x

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